Monday, February 8, 2010

The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles

The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles by Ray Rhamey

The Vampire Kitty-cat Chronicles turns vampire mythology on its head when Patch, a calico tomcat, is turned into breakfast--and a vampire kitty-cat--by a starving vampire. Narrated by Patch in a deliciously snarky cat take on the world, Patch struggles to find a new life, as it were. In the process, he's almost skewered with a stake by a mob with blazing torches, tried for murder, nearly crunched by a seven-foot undead guy, just about shotgunned into undead pieces, comes inches from having his tail cut off and seconds from being fried by the sun, and kidnapped twice. Oh, yeah, and turned into a (shudder) politician. On the other paw, he does hook up with that sweet Siamese, and it looks like he's on the way to winning that election . . .
--The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles by Ray Rhamey, Copyright © December 7, 2009 by Flogging the Quill LLC

My Review:

It is rare that I will start a book and not finish it.

This, unfortunately, was one of those books.

The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles is an excellently written satire of the standard vampire novel, told from the unique perspective of a male calico named Patch. Patch and his human, another recently-turned vampire named Meg decide to run for city council in an effort to bring about equal representation for vampires under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Coming out as vampires in a city that’s not prepared to accept bloodsuckers in their midst leads Patch and Meg down a wild roller-coaster ride straight to the poll booth.

However, I feel some of the farcical elements of the story negatively impact the narration. For example, the ad agency named “Dewey, Fakem and Howe,” the Reverend “Pat Bobson” and “Daddy Greenbanks” are funny names, but they don’t fit the satirical structure of the story. Running across those names was like hitting a speed bump on the highway. If I was an agent or editor looking to take this story on, I would insist those items be changed before publishing.

There is some slapstick-style humor, which usually doesn’t amuse me, and several characters go from heroic to villainous or vice versa, giving a chaotic feel to the story. The pacing was very fast, with very few pauses to give the reader time to catch their breath before we’re off and running again through another crisis situation that Patch or Meg has gotten into. By page 100 I was exhausted and fed up. I skipped through the rest of the story to see how things turned out, then gratefully closed the book.

Based on the accolades listed at the beginning of the book, The Vampire Kitty-Cat Chronicles has its share of loyal fans, so if you’re interested in giving this story a try, go for it. Personally, I’m glad I received an electronic Advance Reader Copy from the author because I would hate to have wasted my money.

I give this story TWO STARS.

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